“I will be alone.”

As I travel through this life I come across many people who are more than willing to share about what they are experiencing in their lives. Those who are experiencing success are as willing to bend the ear of a stranger just as much as those who are having the experience of sorrow or pain. Being a listener the way I am, I enjoy these encounters. I often find myself coming to a point in the conversation where I feel the nudge to ask this question, “So now what are you going to do?” Most of the time I am met with a blank stare but sometimes the question is quickly dismissed and the conversation quickly returns to the telling of the story that I had just heard and some are ready to share where their life is taking them next.
I had a conversation like this just a few days ago but this one surprised me. I was sitting listening to a man tell of the end of his relationship to the “love of his life”. This man was at ease with expressing his emotions. His tears fell freely. His gentleness was quite endearing. As he told the tale of his “Love” leaving him for another man he never spoke in spite or anger about her or her choice, and in fact he spoke kindly of the man whom his Love had left for. I was struck by his lack of malice. I felt I was witnessing a man who understood forgiveness.
When the moment came when I asked, “What do you think you will do now?” I was met with the blank stare. My new friend asked me what I meant. I told him that I was wondering what direction his life would take him. His reply stunned me.
He said, “Oh I will go on loving her and letting her go. I will continue to practice forgiveness. I will love people with the compassion I have learned and I will be alone.”
Now it was my turn to have the blank stare on my face. Those of you who know me can imagine just how stunned I was to be speechless. When I gained the use of my vocal cords again I asked him, “Why will you be alone? Don’t you want to have another relationship? Do you believe there is only one love in the world? I’m confused by your choice.”
His reply has stayed with me, “I am choosing to be alone because I have loved. I have lost. I have forgiven. I have healed a lot. All of these things take a lot of commitment to myself to stay positive about the out come and that takes all the time and energy I have. So I will stay alone and I am fine with that.”

As I have thought about this friend and his choice to stay alone I can not help but admire him for being so honest. He didn’t justify or explain his choice. He simply stated his truth. I learned a lot from this man and I have a new appreciation for the power of choice. We all get to choose. We can choose to move on from our stories or stay with our stories. We can choose to be the victim or life or allow the lessons learned to be our teachers and friends.
I find myself once again surprised by the willingness to be where we are in our Present Moment. Not having to make our lives look a certain way or needing to do what someone else would do but to be willing to simply BE right where we are, knowing we can choose differently at any moment.